Joyce's profileTRUST & UNDERSTANDING !!...PhotosBlogListsMore  |  Tools Help |
|
|
What's Up ???Hello There, Well another episode in the life of me... I have this friend that I am real fond of , No not in LOVE I like a lot he wants more than I am willing to give ..And I don't want to hurt his feelings but there is no future for the two of us I'm off into someone else and I hope that it works out but as in any relationship who knows .....Have you ever had a friend that you just admired so much for the way that they are but because of the things going on in your lives there is just no way anything could ever happen that you would be together ....Your destinys are headed in different directions. Well I have a fella that I share time and space with he is not the man I admire so much but he is an awesome person ..Yes I have even started to love him ! Did not want that to happen how do I stop it...I had really made up my mind that it would not happen for me again ..And now as I try to see where it is going I feel that it is wrong for me with this person. Wow had to get this far into my life to get this damm confussed what a trip.. When Leon was alive it was so easy to go through the day and be happy with all that was in my life..Now being alone is a nightmare in its self.. I hate being by myself and have no way to really solve the problem. Well thats not true but I do not like the twists and turns I would have to go through..I thought being a teenager was a problem in my life, being and adult is the hard part your life changes so fast and you have no idea what to do about it or how to fix it,,, Time to start ANEW It has been brought to my attention that I need to let go of the past and start to LIVE my LIFE in the NOW ...Put the photos up and share with someone that can share back or return the Love that I have to give. I am not sure that I know how to love anymore. I have someone in my life that I am in LIKE WITH he makes me smile he makes me think ! I have been seeing this MAN for over aweek now and he really makes me HAPPY. I enjoy spending time with him..I love to feel him next to me to hear his heart beat to listen to his breath. it has been such along time for me to have feelings for anyone. Where is it going I have no idea may no where but what ever I will share my culture and my way with him for as long as he wants and then if he moves on ...HEY I THANK GOD FOR THE TIME I WAS BLESSED TO SPEND WITH THIS SPECIAL SPECIAL PERSON........The LORD has been good to me I have been Blessed with great health and a good job he gives me all that I need or could ask for . You Know GOD IS ABLE..He gives you what you need ...It my not be all that you want but it is what you need ...Everything in his time ..You know you are as guilty as I we want everythhing now we seem to forget that all is in his TIME...LET HIM GUIDE YOU and all will be good.. I trust him to lead me down the right path and to see to it that life its self is a reward that i thank him for everyday..And the people he has brought into my life are true blessings..New Day A Begining...Hello my friends a new day has begun and life is full of surprises good and bad , but no matter what may happen keep a smile and always be thankful for everything that comes your way...I have love in my life that is so powerful I had thought it would never happen again...He keeps me smiling even when things are out of pocket..I thank god for this blessing as i thought it was over for me.. As most of you that have followed me know I celebrate Chinese New Years as I was brought up to do so. So my New Year well start in Febuary on the 7th , The year of the Rat 4706 . So my friends I send to you a wish........GUNG HAY FAT CHOY ........May you be as happy as I am ...I can only hope that all of your plans and wishes are fruitful....I know someday there well be a partner in my life to fullfill the rest but until that day I will be THANKFUL for the freinds and the blessings I have recieved....I have smiles, love, truth, understanding and along with that TRUST...Awesome aint it .............
Love Hello There !!! Been a while , Sort of lost my want to blog...But I see that I have missed it . So I got my heart broke so felt sorry for myself...But God has made me see that I am an alright person and that I should not let anyone stop me from being myself..I am so thankful for the people in my life that have held me up ...I may have lost someone that I loved very much but life does not stop you keep on breathing, crying, smiling, and someday LOVING once again...I had been so comfortable with the relationship that I had that I stopped being ME that was a DAMM shame ..I tried to please him and not me ...Have you ever been there??? Sure you have sometime in your life...You want to be loved cared for so you settle for the oky dok....You give all of you and you keep nothing for yourself...You must keep a little for yourself.. I guess at this stage in my life I am supposed to be by myself , Do I like it ? no I have a lot to give the right person..I don't think I am to bad to look at of course I have aged but we all do ..I do not look my age but guys my age want ladys 30 or 40...Maybe that is the way for us ladys to go look for younger men...WOW what a concept !!!  Guess maybe I will check it out and let you know...So wish me luck .So until next time....  See Ya, Later, Thank You !Have you ever told someone GOOD BYE for the last time knowing full well you will never see them again....FINAL VERY FINAl is it not.....I never tell anyone that I LOVE or Care about GOOD BYE . I say SEE YA, Or LATER , The reason is self explainatory . I want to see them again ..Also tell that someone special be it spouse, child, mother, father, friend, lover, family no matter tell them I LOVE YOU everyday. As you are not promised TOMORROW so when ever they leave you send your love with them Always I LOVE YOU .And then SEE YA !! OR, LATER !!!! Another thing I try to let them know I appreciate them THANK YOU !!....  No matter the reason always give a THANK YOU !!!!!BLUEHave you ever felt as though you were just totally all alone and no where to turn ?Well I am at that point I am empty and seem to be so alone.. I have been alone now for three years that my husband passed and eight years since my daughter passed and IT IS LIKE YESTERDAY FOR BOTH OF THEM...You are not supposed to out live your children and my husband and I planned on growing old together. But GOD had something better for them to do.. I would love to know what he has in store for me ...If it is the life I am living I want to know WHY ?? I was not brought up to be alone I was taught how to care for a husband and children..I thought when they left me I would be able to start a new life and grow....But it seems that everyone I meet is so wrapped up in themselves they do not know how to share with another person..I guess most of the people that I have met have been abused in their past relationships and so they prefer to be alone...People in my age range seem to forget that we are getting older, do we really want to spend the rest of our lives alone? We seem to take it for granted that our jobs and the things that we do now are going to complete us laterbut when we no longer have a 9 to 5 or 6 to 2 WHAT ever the hours then what ..I have found my job is just not enough I miss the hugs the smiles even the little spats and then the making up I know that you understand... We need the warmth of another human touch ,we need someone to talk with someone to share the good and bad times that happen in our LIVES. Snuggles , caresses, laughter,passion to hear a heart beat, rythum of our souls as one, someone to love us....Or maybe we just need to LOVE someone..... Love at First SIGHT ?SOMEONE ASKED ..Do I beleive in love at first sight . YES,There is that instant connection that you feel , The warm fuzzies, I have been madly in love with someone that I felt that way about from the very first time we met and spoke face to face , We communicated over the telephone for hours and so I had a good insite as to who he was then when I met him for the first time in person WOW just does not do him justice, His honesty, caring, the way he carries himself is also a total turn on for me...Does he know ?? I think he might but I am not going to throw myself.. If he ever decides that MAYBE JUST MAYBE we could hit it off then and only then I will give my all...I don't know what he may be looking for I am old fashioned and for some that may be a total turn off.. Now you say he must be Brad Pitt, Wil Smith, Bruce Lee all rolled up into one.. Well for me yes he is...But no he is just an average looking man with a wonderful smile , Strong hands , dependable as to what he has to do , and soft eyes that when he looks at you your heart melts . His conversation is open and honest how many men can speak and be honest ??? Well thats something I should not ask but they can all be honest if you let them....No games no drama is what most people look for and men are no exception they want the same thing..I really do not want to be alone for the rest of my life ..I am not going to just settle for anyone as I need to be happy with the choices that I make...But yes I beleive !!! And I have for such along time....LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT ...YES IT HAPPENS.......A glance a smile what can I say it JUST DOES !!!! Something to PONDER on YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU,
ALL YOU CAN DO IS BE SOMEONE WHO
CAN BE LOVED.
THE REST IS UP TO THAT PERSON TO
REALIZE YOUR WORTH......
What happned to Yester year ???WOW...Today is the day MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN, What a special wonderful day for me 9:45 am 1967 Mondays Child... Ten perfect little fingers and toes a perfect little girl..I awoke this morning so full of grief because she is gone ( always in my heart always in my mind not a day goes by that she is not thought about .Yes I know she is with God but you are not supposed to out live your children SHE WOULD BE 40 today..Missing the people you love is one of the things in life that rips you apart..She passed away on Septemeber 7th 1999 its like yesterday the pain is still sharp and so hurtful and I am so alone .. Husband dead also in 2004 two days short of our thirty year anniversery so I guess it is just double what I am feeling right now ..I am trying so very hard to fight back tears and pain HAVE YOU EVER JUST NEEDED TO BE HELD NOTHING ELSE..Someone to say everything will be OK ..someone to share with someone close to hold on to you just to honestly care, Do you know what I mean ???? My heart is so full I want to feel LOVE to BE LOVED I miss it so much....Will it ever happen again?? FEELINGS OF LOVE??? Who knows If it is to happen it will...... I will love you !!!When I finally find that special one that takes my heart ,Iwill love him with honesty, trust, understanding, NO GAMES NO DRAMA ....I have so much love to give . I am the type that will watch out for you ,protect you . Don't worry always at your back and also at your side ..If you understand this then you are for me..Not everyone can understand that type of relationship..You know what I am saying not out for yourself but for each other.. LOVE IS LIFE AND IF YOU MISS LIFE, YOU MISS LOVE !!! I am waiting for you !!! WHERE ARE YOU ??? CAN YOU HANDLE SOMEONE LIKE ME ????? How Do you stop LOVINGI had forgotten how wonderful it is to be close to someone to just share time and space for awhile..I have a friend that I have been seeing for awhile he is one great guy . I really enjoy being with him he makes me tick even though we are not together in a relationship I don't need anything else right now because I am still madly in LOVE with my HUSBAND and I don't now how to stop. So how could I love another with that type of LOVE still in my heart. I can"t. My husband has been dead now for three years now and beleive it or not I can still feel his touch, Tender loving, the caresses the kisses. So how do I set all of this aside and start over.. How do you stop loving?????? I tell myself that I want to belong to someone ,to have someone care for me to wake up in the middle of the night make love , to hold to kiss ,cuddle to feel close . I would just love to have a loving real relationship but as I said how do you stop Loving ???? I am not ready to live with anyone a few days here and there to get to know each other .. I don't want to get married again . I know that if I have a imtimate relationship I am commiting a sin But come on, some one told me today the life I am living is not a dress rehersal and that is true. But I want to be held, to share, to kiss slowly to feel and right now I am in limbo...So tell me SOMEONE...............HOW DO YOU STOP LOVING ????? I need to feel really feel really care I need to belong for someone just ONE...... where has it goneHello I just read something that made me really really THINK....They asked
what has happened to loving someone and being with someone in a one on one .Where has the old fashioned caring went ..Do You know what I am saying ???,Just being close to someone you care about to see them smile to
catch a glimps of them out of the corner of your eye and think to yourself
how lucky you are...I do understand what they are saying as I had thirty wonderful years and thats the only way I can evaluate a relationship is by those standards. You see I have kept myself for someone special just to have
sex everywhere and with just anyone is just out and out NASTY...I beleive in being a one man woman and that is the way I live my life...You people that
have no respect for yourselves I do not understand..I am not saying that if
you want to sleep around that you can't, what I am saying is you need to be more particular in what you do... Most of you that are out there just messing around do not stop to think about what you can catch or what could happen to you ...You must learn to be more selective in your endoveres ...some times I wish that I could be more open but I don't have a clue how to begine. My Dad always told me be a lady always and if you really care for someone it will work out..If it does not work its not to be...And then he told me bad girls never WIN they just get used. OK , Lets get one thing clear I am no angel I have someone I care so very much about and I know that it is one sided but he is all I want and all that I will be envolved with. One reason I have not wanted to have an intimate relationship with any one since my husband died until NOW and I don't know what too do about it . I have not felt this way for such along time.and I don't want to be thought of as easy or a loose woman , So I am at a point in my life that I really don't know what to do.....How to handle it...I need to be close I believe that is the reason I can't wait to see him just to be close....................So alittle advice take it slow and easy FEEL FIRST.........
BE YOU !! This is for the young woman that is in LOVE with that guy who walks
all over you , abuses you makes you feel small JUST uses you up.
Be UNIQUE one of a kind !!!!!
Here is a quote that may help you ...You must always be sepecial ..
''You can't make someone love you,
All you can do is be someone who can
be loved. The rest is up to that person
to realize your worth.''
Think about it always be YOU !!!!! |
|
|
